Tag Archives: love

Finding You Again!

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Hello Y’all! Summer is officially here and we’ve just hit a cooler front with temperatures dropping about 12 degrees overnight. It has been an interesting couple of months, sometimes hectic and other times not as much. But in everything, I’m so glad to be sitting on my overstuffed couch with a zillion pillows and writing this post. It is planting season, so if you love to garden, this is the perfect time to get on with it. Yesterday was the Fourth of July, and I must say that this year was a bit lowkey than the last couple of years. The fireworks weren’t as loud and didn’t last as long. Still, I was glad for the holiday. Today’s post is one I’ve been meaning to write for two months now. I started it but just now getting to finish it. It’s been a journey I have been on for a while and felt now was the time to share it with you so, grab a comfy spot wherever you are and read on.

As time goes by, we change. Whether the change is by our surroundings, life events, circumstances, or through the people in our lives or those we interact with daily. We are a product of these factors. Thinking back to when I graduated and had my first internship, there were so many dreams and things I had planned that I wanted to do and be…but you know how it goes – there’s what you want to do and be then…THERES LIFE. Depending on what side of the coin you’re looking at, some things could be good and other things unpleasant but the goal is to never lose yourself completely. I liken it to holding onto your hobbies, love, hopes, dreams or ambition… even if it’s by a thin thread because if we let life, circumstances, people, or events take that from us, we begin to die albeit little by little.

Now, there are things that are considered wishes. There are things that are likened to literally digging for fool’s gold. What I am referring to here are the simple things that make your soul happy. The things that brought joy to your innermost being without a huge price tag. Those things my friends, are the things we must never lose no matter what life brings or throws our way.

I love to bake. I’m not a master baker or an expert. I just love baking. My love for it was inspired by my grandmother who was a regional chef/competitor/winner when I was little. She put a lot of love into baking and cooking, you could taste it in the food. It was different. Baking is something I do for close friends and family and not on a large scale but it’s a part of me and what brings little flutters to my heart whenever I make anything from a simple recipe to something complex and unknown.

Life Happens!

I liken life to the sea. Its waves are strong when the tide is high, it could be still when the tide is low but be rest assured, it’s always moving. The goal is to know when to fight and when to let the waves do their thing. To know when to be flexible and adjust and when to brace for impact. To know how to watch the tide, how to time it just right, and when to make a run for it.

As we mature, we attain a layer of sophistication which is part of maturity and a positive on every front. But never losing touch with who I am is one of the things that anchor me to the ground despite life’s roses or shenanigans. If you are reading this post and you’ve got this far, thank you for being here. Take a moment and think deeply. Liken your life to an onion with layers. As you peel back the layers, the wins, the losses, whatever it may be; when you get to core, are you still that person you were? Can you still indulge in the simple things that make your heart flutter? Can you still connect to that person? Is there any semblance between that person and you?

Folks, never let go of who you were born to be. Never stop finding ways to do the things you love and things that really fulfill you. Only then will we feel anchored, only then will we not forget who we are or lose sight of why we are here. If you’re far removed from your authentic self, you can always retrace your steps and find you again. It will always be a balancing act but without any of the pressure…just focus on the simple things. Until I come your way again, let me know your thoughts and comments and if this is a journey you would like to embark on.

Periwinkle Starr

Having the Courage to Walk Away.

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Hello Y’all! I hope you are doing well in your corner of the world. The eclipse is here and unfortunately, we have thunderstorms in my little corner in North Texas, so i probably won’t be seeing anything but rain and storm clouds. Over the weekend, some friends of mine and a few others helped organize an easter egg hunt which was fun for a community of kids but quite a workout for us the adults however, it was still fun, and the weather was gorgeous.

Today’s post is none other but ‘having the courage to walk away’. Life is beautiful and I believe it happens in stages and cycles, and not just physical growth alone. We keep on growing and advancing as we pass each phase and if we fail, life has a way of taking us back around until we pass the test – which could be anything from an area of growth needed in character, emotions, self-control or a literal test.

Growing up in a close-knit family with a bunch of siblings, I began to learn early about boundaries among my brothers and sisters such things like you couldn’t bite anyone else, pull their hair, fight over toys and things of that nature. As simple as this may sound, these rules began forming what I call ‘lines’ that I could not violate and should not be violated by others. I believe majority of the populace have this; but like anything that isn’t exercised regularly, over time, our lines become weak which can bring on a passivity that is neither healthy nor serve us long term.

Life and Relationships

I believe life has blessed us with relationships in every sphere and includes family relationships, love, friendships, business, religious, fitness, social groups and everything in between. Having healthy and wholesome relationships filled with genuine interest, care and respect is beneficial to all involved and does require some effort by the parties concerned for such things like showing up, being present and overall, just doing life together and all that it entails.

Sometimes in the course of these relationships, interactions may not be pleasant, some may be abusive, others demanding, unfair, non-supportive, flat out disrespectful, toxic and unhealthy. This occurs when the relationships do not positively add to our lives and well-being but take, devalue, disrespect and even in some cases are harmful to the individual or individuals concerned. Just from personal experiences and experiences shared with me by others in confidence voicing dissatisfaction, an absence of validation or not just getting anything close to what we’re giving or dishing out is all too real.

Instantly cutting people off or excluding oneself may not always be the first line of action for majority of us. But there comes a time when, one person can no longer shoulder the burden, is dissatisfied, unhappy and cannot see any change in sight; this is where I feel having the courage to move on is the best option. This could be temporary or in some cases, it may be permanent depending on the circumstances.

Some Reasons to Walk Away

*When a relationship tears down and isolates an individual instead of building up and flourishing in community.

*Blatant disrespect for one’s humanity.

*One sided pairing(s) that serve only one party ‘all-the-time’.

*Any kind of abuse – physical, verbal, emotional, mental etc.

*Toxicity – Need I say more.

Folks, I wrote this post not just for you all but for myself as well. Wherever you are in the world, know that you are a human being, and you deserve the dignity and respect to live, to thrive, to flourish and go after your dreams in life. As everyday people, we will always be a work in progress ourselves and those we are in community with. Living life in a healthy and safe environment with others is doable and possible. Sometimes we, need to have the courage to walk out of bad relationships so our eyes can be opened to the good all around us. For some, walking away may not be entirely possible, but I dare say that strengthening our boundaries will certainly go a long way.

Until I come your way again, please like, follow, and comment. 2024 feels like it’s going to be a unique year so let’s clean house and walk away from things that no longer mutually benefit us. I remain,

Periwinkle Starr