Looking Back And Moving Forward

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Hello Y’all!! Happy New Month! I hope you are doing well in your part of the world? Its been pleasant so far and I’m waiting on more consistent weather to set out on new adventures for 2019. It just dawned on me that the last adrenaline adventure I was on was when I went kayaking on Lake Grapevine, so me and some friends are getting warmed up for that…hopefully the weather in north Texas cooperates.

I love quiet moments every now and then because I get to relax and ponder on a lot of things – which involve amazing everyday experiences, stressful situations or not so pretty moments; and yes, we ALL have experienced these situations at some point in our lives or the other.  With growing up, it’s very easy to look at life through a lens of items to be accomplished that sometimes we can get too busy and never take time off to process the journey so far. This is no ones fault by any long shot…I’ll blame it on technology and having a million and two things vying for my attention 24/7.

Sometimes its good to take time just to process your journey through life and how far you’ve come, how much you’ve grown, what you’ve learned and how you can do better.  I was hanging out with a bunch of friends a few days ago, and Jordan (not his real name) told us that every year on his birthday, he goes on an adventure to a different location. His goal is to find a place that is peaceful and quiet where he can relax, unwind and think clearly on what he’s accomplished the past year and what he wants to do for the coming year.

Wow! I found it interesting – coming from a guy because us ladies tend to do that more often than just once a year especially when you get those hormonal dips and spikes in continuous tandem…ha ha. No matter your ethnicity, whether you’re rich or poor, or where you were raised, there is something that happens to us all, and it’s called LIFE!  Often times, it’s so easy to forget how far we’ve come and the things we endured or worked hard to achieve in order to get to where we are now. We can very easily begrudge ourselves any kudos because of the goals we have not yet attained instead of looking at how far we have come and just being plain-ole thankful.

Reminiscing On The Past…

♣   Makes me thankful…I’m still here if not anything else.

♣  To be a bit more empathetic to the people I meet in every day life.

♣  To learn to be firm – you know what works and what doesn’t.

♣  Learning to dig my heels in when facing tough situations.

♣   Learning to sharpen my instinct and trust my gut.

♣   I’ve learned to pick my battles.

♣  I can laugh heartily at myself!

♣   Wisdom! There’s just something about someone whose been there and done that.

♣  Finding a way to process and make peace with all and any…

I read something that had a profound impact on me the other day, it said “Unharmed prosperity cannot endure a single blow” says Seneca, but a man/woman who has gone through countless misfortunes “acquires a skin calloused by suffering”. This man fights to the ground and carries on the fight even on his knees. He will never give up!

I hope you feel pumped, encouraged and fired up after reading this post but better still, I hope you take time for yourself to look back at how amazing your journey has been and how you want to move forward – in the best direction possible! Do like, comment and follow this blog for more posts from…

 

Periwinkle Starr!

 

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Time Awaits No One.

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Hello Y’all! I hope you are doing well in your part of the world? Its that time in the year that we get to layer on and feel like we belong with our mid-western cousins who are duking it out in the snow.  Speaking of snow, it snowed this past weekend in Dallas but it melted before we could see it talk less of getting a few snapshots of it. :/ Growing up, there were a lot of proverbs I learned in primary school. One of them is ‘a stitch in time saves nine’. It was something always quoted by my teachers at school and all my childhood mind could decipher as to it’s meaning was to get my homework done on time so I don’t get disciplined.

My Definition of Time

I love to look at time in a different light than just the two hands of a clock or a number on a calendar. To me, ‘Time is a silent witness that stays with us all of our days on this planet’. We think we have it in abundance until we wake up one day and find out that we have little of it left. We can embrace it for what it is or we can be trapped in it. I do not consider it to be a fair donor in the sense that every one of us is allocated a different portion of it all through our lives.

Being an avid listener, I am used to hearing people I speak with tell the same story multiple times. These stories are almost imprinted in my memory that I can mimic the dates and facial expressions when they start with, ‘In 1964, it was a cold Sunday…’. I see the way the eyes light up in animation and how they stare wistfully into space as they re-live the moment. They’re bodily present but absent in the mind. Its almost like pieces of their lives are trapped in moments of time where even their sense of smell is rekindled. Some get a taste on their lips just by reliving old memories of eating certain meals – that my friends, is the power of the human mind.

The Downside

Just the same way we remember pleasant events, we can also be trapped in unpleasant or distasteful events. A lot of times, we can get stuck in events – some of our doing and others we have no control over. The sad part is that sometimes we aren’t even aware that we’re stuck, we’re trapped in certain events without realizing that the world has moved on all around us. I was watching an episode of Ghost Adventures, this time they were investigating an orphanage that was closed down due to the abuse and mistreatment of the children during that time. One of the kids, who was now an old man was brought in and he talked about how he was beaten by the warden for no apparent reason on many occasions. In my opinion, he was a grown man but in his mind he was still a small boy trapped in that orphanage.

It Doesn’t Have To Be This Way

The truth is this: Time waits for no one and YOU/I are not going to waste another second of another day trapped in a situation or frozen in time from an event that no longer matters. Here’s how to be unstuck!

♥Acknowledge the event for what it is – good or bad.

♥Think deeply about it.

♥Make Peace With It

♥Force yourself to grow beyond the situation.

♥Get up. Get back into the game of life and LIVE!!

So until I come your way next time, like, comment and follow my blog. I remain,

 

 

Periwinkle Starr♥

 

 

 

A Perfect Christmas!

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Hello Y’all!! Its been a minute since my last post. Hope you are doing great in your part of the world? It’s the season to be merry and the countdown to Christmas has begun. Traffic has been a bear over the past couple of days without any respite. But in some weird way…I am not complaining. 😘😎 The activities are endless with everything from parties, plays, secret Santa’s and shopping…lots of it. We get to spend quality time with family and close friends but for some its just another holiday they hope to get through and quickly.

It’s been a very eventful and busy year. The year has had its up and ups and some lows in between as any year would bring. The key is not to loose sight of the highs because it’s oftentimes the norm for us to focus on the lows. One of my mantras for 2018 was to live with no regrets. To go to sleep each day knowing that I did good in the world and if I didn’t solve any problems at least I didn’t start any. To have healthy boundaries and to be mindful of my energy and state of mind at any given time.

A Perfect Christmas?

Is there any such thing as a perfect Christmas? In my opinion, Christmas quite frankly is what you make of it. Whether you are married or single, have family or no family. Whether you have a bunch of friends, or you have no friends. Whether you have multiple pets or no pets at all. There isn’t any such thing as a perfect Christmas. Some common sayings I hear a lot are ‘you get to pick your friends but you don’t pick your family’. How about ‘life’s a b***h and then you die’. 😒😱It can go downhill really fast and it doesn’t do you any good. One of my mantras for 2018 was to live with no regrets.

It Doesn’t Have To Be This Way

Holidays can be tough for some, especially when there are unresolved family matters or strained relationships. It could be very superficial for others, where the primary focus is on having everything perfect and denying the real underlying issues or choosing not to speak of them. But Christmas can be fun for others. It can be messy, un-perfect but still filled with love and happiness. Life is way too short to waste on things that don’t matter.

Admitting where you are in life. Being honest – no matter what that means to you – allows the universe help you. When you are open to receiving help, you will find a way.

Kick down those walls. To have genuine relationships, you need to be a genuine person that people can relate to. This is a ‘duh statement’ but oh so true. Don’t you wonder about those people who have a zillion social media friends but no true human connections or people to reach out to when they feel really low.

Don’t be afraid to reach out. Some where along the path of life, we picked up this ‘I don’t need nobody’ mentality. You have to retrain your brain. You are a human being. You need other humans 😀 Yes, you might have chosen bad humans in the past or unknowingly fell into the wrong hands but there are a million good ones out there. You only need to be more discerning the next time.

Talk about it. One of my favorite sayings is ‘ a problem shared with a trusted friend is half-solved!

Make it good this year. Call that old friend or family member. Go out and help make Christmas happen for someone less fortunate than yourself. Send presents to that old aunt of yours. Instead of waiting for great things to happen to you, get up, go out and make it happen for yourself!

May your Christmas be filled with the friendly chatter of family, until I come your way again and I promise you that it would be sooner. I remain

Periwinkle Starr😘

P.S. I had my tree up a little early and had to share. 😀

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Near Death Experience…New Outlook on Life

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Happy New Month Y’all!! Can you believe its July already? Well, I can. Time flies by when your’re fully occupied. One of my favorite things of the season is being able to dress lighter; you can almost never go wrong with all those insanely bright colors. I finally (rolling eyes) got around to packing up my winter clothes and making room for my summer clothes…LOL, so don’t be down on yourself if its the middle of the year and you haven’t organized your closet space yet. Now, as much as I love writing about all things ‘light’, fun and positive; I also love to write about deep life experiences and the lessons I learned in the process. Today’s post is one of those.

That Fateful Day.

One sunny day, years ago; I had gotten some time off and wanted start my day with running a few errands before settling in to chill, relax and take it easy. I made a stop at a Goodwill store to drop off some items I had kept for so long but couldn’t find the time to give away. I remember driving down the road about 5 miles from home and getting close to one of the traffic lights on my way. It was green as I approached it and suddenly changed to yellow the closer I got to the light. It remained on yellow for longer than a light would usually be and so I decided I would cross it.

All I remember was seeing a huge dark shadow come from the my side and in a split second, all I felt and heard was ‘Bam’!! I saw myself in the car but it felt like I wasn’t bound by gravity. It reminds me of those car collision tests with dummies where the impact is recorded and replayed in slow motion. My car somersaulted 3 times and landed on its roof.

I was hanging upside down supported by my seat belt when the daze started to wear off. The windshield was cracked, the doors were smashed in – totally destroyed. There was shattered glass all around me. I reached for the door but couldn’t get it to open. The window in the back seat to the right was busted open and this was going to be the only way to get out of the car. I released the seat belt lock and hit the roof. There were pieces of glass that cut my hands and knees as I crawled out of the car.

By this time, people rushed to help. The paramedics, the police and more people came unto the scene. My car was rammed on the driver’s side by a black Ram truck. As I was been attended to, one of the questions I was asked was how I came out of the car and how possible it was that I had just a few cuts on my knees and hands. There were measurements taken of the window I had crawled out of and all the police could say was ‘you are an extremely lucky lady’. The car was totaled. The emotional trauma was so much, it took me a couple of months to remember everything that actually happened because all my body did was kick-in in that moment to survive.

A Faulty Traffic Light.

That particular light was shut down and covered for repairs 2 days later; and even though I was given a ticket, I didn’t care to dispute it or go to court to prove anything…I was just happy and so grateful to be alive. All I wanted was for the whole ordeal to be over and done with…fast! I needed to get on with life.

My Outlook On Life Since Then…

Life is so fragile. A split second is all it takes and it can be all over. Knowing this reality humbled me in so many ways, I can’t even begin to explain.

I became a more compassionate human.

My empathy for ‘ALL’ suffering grew. Now I wasn’t exactly an ice queen by any chance but I did have some frosting..ha ha. This experience taught me to feel for others and not just those within my sphere of life.

Dissatisfied with all things specious.

Learning to forgive ‘quicker’. Life is too short. We are not and will never be perfect. Each of us sees life through our own perspective of what we believe to be right about the world. With that been said, some things are not worth the drag – what if the person you hold a grudge against passes suddenly and you didn’t speak because of something not worth it after all.

I keep it moving. There’s a sense of urgency to push ahead and not hold unto things, ideals or pattern of action that aren’t working or delivering the desired results.

Appreciative of every single day. Every day is not perfect but you’re alive! You can still dream and it’s not too late to change or try something new.

My belief in a higher power. Nothing else but the Big Guy up there watching over me.

Thanks for reading. Hope y’all have a fabulous month ahead and get to enjoy some amazing fireworks on the 4th! Until I come your way again, I remain

 

Periwinkle Starr

 

 

 

Anthony Bourdain: A Friend in my Mind

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Friday morning was a mad dash. I was off to two different offsite meetings before heading back to work. At almost mid-day was when I looked up my twitter feed. In that moment, I felt like my heart skipped a beat. It read “Anthony Bourdain was found dead by suicide”. I didn’t really understand what it meant; I had just watched the last episode  of Parts Unknown on sunday so he was still pretty fresh in my mind. This week was awful for the entertainment industry, first Kate Spade and now Anthony. I was puzzled, sad, wondering, afraid, questioning all at the same time. Lets take a walk back to how he became a friend – in my mind.

An Authentic Human Being

Anthony Bourdain was a real and authentic human being. He had money, success, fame but he knew those things did not exempt him from life – the daily struggles of anyone alive on this planet. He was who he was and he wasn’t ashamed of it. His love of travel and of food took him all over the globe. He was curious about cultures different from his, intrigued about how people lived, their values and the things that set them apart from other groups. There had to be more to a person or groups of people and Bourdain understood that.

There was a humility about him; he was willing to travel to remote parts of the world to sit with total strangers, share a meal and just listen. He gave others a chance to paint their own pictures, an opportunity to tell their own story – not the scripts written by people outside their experience. He ate any where from the best restaurants in world to eating on street corners and in back alleys; on many occasions trying things from menu’s that some of us wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole. This part of him I could so relate to because I have gotten sick so many times from tasting and trying different cuisines in the past that I made up my mind to live vicariously by watching Parts Unknown and the Travel Channel.

He had things that he struggled with, that was no secret. It was said that he ran from his demons but not fast enough. Could it be that if he had taken time to acknowledge the things he was struggling with instead of painting a different picture to the world, he might still be here. I remember his last visit to a remote village in Asia where he made an eerie comment saying ‘it would be the last time he would be back there’, – I cannot help but wonder if he already knew what he was going to do. So sad, sad indeed.

We can’t keep losing people like this.  Something as simple as talking to someone else can go a long way to being free. Diet, exercise and a healthy lifestyle coupled with rest help re-center and refresh the body. Being in close contact with family, friends and loved ones keep us emotionally balanced. Mental illness is no respecter of persons. An icon was lost and we pray for peace for his family at this time.

 

Periwinkle Starr

 

The Randomness of It All!!

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Hello Y’all!! The weekend is here! Sitting on my porch and starring into a vast expanse of greenery, listening to the sounds of birds chirping, the soft whisper of the morning breeze always seem to bring everything into perspective…don’t ask me how, it just does.  😀 Its almost like running through chaos all week and finally getting a few moments to be calm and regain my focus.

I sometimes get the sense that we as people look at life as a plan, a series of events, a destination, a succession of accomplishments that occur in stages…in order words; an orderly occurrence of events. I on the other hand sometimes love to look at life as a series of random events that do not always make sense when you’re in the thick of it. But the moment I step back and look at the big picture of events, timing, decisions made, seemingly chanced meetings, the good, the bad and not so pretty things that happen along the way; It… in some weird way makes sense after all.

Spoiler Alert 101

There really isn’t a specific order of occurrences in life. There’s a lot of RANDOM!

Sometimes, when things don’t go the way we think they should or things don’t happen as we imagine them to, we often think that we have failed in some way or the other. I have come to realize that by removing myself from being so up close and personal and looking at the big picture in a holistic way does something to and for me. Things begin to come into perspective in a way that blows my mind beyond anything I would have planned or orchestrated by myself. I have given all I can and now, I’m going to let it be, I am going to chill and have a glass of wine while i’m at it. 😀 😀

Recently, my friends and I drove by a newly constructed building on our way to a baseball game – The Texas Rangers against the Seattle Mariners. We lost… AGAIN!!! but who cares, ballpark food is so bad for you but taste sooo good and a once in a blue moon binge is not going to kill anybody right? – Anyway, it was a project I had worked on in the past. There it stood, majestic as can be. All the surrounding buildings looked dated beside it. Often times, no one sees the effort it took to create such a masterpiece if I could say so myself (wink). At some point in the process, it was a push-pull saga between peoples ego and doing what was best for the overall well being of the project and all the stakeholders involved: from the designers, construction managers, investors, the city, the occupants, the owners. At certain moments, things were frustrating and weren’t going well talk less of making sense. But now, looking at the end product; I can’t but be proud that it was all worth it. It all made sense. It wasn’t a perfect process but surely, it was worth it.

Life is full of randomness, things you can control and some you can’t. S***t happens to good people too. :/ Instead of being down on yourself when things don’t go the way you had hoped or expected; or it didn’t fit the mold you wanted, take a step back and look at it from a holistic perspective. Sometimes life does not make sense but as long as you keep doing your part, you keep being positive and keep pushing. I can guarantee that one day, you will be able to see the whole picture. You’d be able to connect the dots and you’ll be happy for good times and grateful for the times that things didn’t go as you had planned.

My To-Do list is long this weekend so i’d best get started on it. Hope you have a fab weekend! I would love to hear from you so feel free to share your thoughts with me and all our fab Starr readers. Also, take the time to check out my sister blog: https://www.periwinklestarr-glamfest.com/ Until I come your way again, do enjoy the randomness of life, its worth it!!

Periwinkle Starr

 

Staying Fit & Avoiding The Flab!

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Hello Y’all!! A belated welcome to the month of March…all the way from Dallas, Texas! It’s been a cool winter so far but I’m just about ready for some consistent warm weather right about now. 😨The downside of winter is the fact that you can make up genuine excuses for E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G and get away with it.

My question is… ‘For how long’?

We had the holidays, Valentines day, Fat Tuesday and more sweet treats than should be  legally consumed. I feel it’s time to get back into being fit, active and lean again 😀 I abhor the word ‘FAT’ when it comes to health and weight because it brings back all kinds of horrifying memories; the word is literally vanquished from my vocabulary unless we’re talking about “Fat Tuesday”…ha ha!

 Its hard to maintain a fitness regimen especially if you’re always on the go and your lifestyle or job are not as predictable.

How To Get Flabby Fast

This is a no-brainier to most but for some, the flab creeps up on you so slowly that one day you look in the mirror and wonder what exactly it is you’re looking at – Like where did my toned abs go or for the guys, you may look like you’ve downsized to a one pack. 😱😱 This is so real, it’s not even funny. I am going to list a few things that may seem inconsequential but trust me, they add up. So stay with me. 😘😍

  • Happy Hour and Weekend Meetups

The weekend is finally here. You can kickback and relax a little.  All those cocktails aren’t going to drink themselves you know but they do add to the waistline. After all, a few drinks aren’t hurting anybody. But there’s an old saying ‘A little here, a little there and a pond becomes a river.

  • Late Night Dinners

Every now and then, I have days where I zone out on the couch for some ‘Do-Nothing Me-Time’. I catch up on movies, phone calls, my never ending to-do lists, a good facial mask, nail polish, with snacks nearby and a glass of wine. Once the snuggie comes out, its downhill from there – nothing healthy happens beyond this point. 😂😂

  • Skipping The Gym

We all have things that interfere with our gym schedules every now and then. Skipping the gym may work when you have pressing appointments or deadlines; but when you see yourself slipping, its time to up your game and get back into your routine.

  • Not Reading The Labels on Food

There’s a reason why people advise against shopping when you’re hungry because we tend to grab everything that looks good instead of what’s really healthy for us. I feel I end up making decisions from my belly instead of from my brain. Taking the time to read the label will help you decide if you want for example a 230 calorie breakfast bar or a 120 calorie equally as tasty option. Its that simple but seldom ever done. 😣😣

Something Has Got To Give

Staying fit is a lifestyle. There’s no magic pill and even if there was, the side effects may not be pleasant. Its okay to have cheat days; just as long as every day does not become one. When going out to eat, try to make delicious but healthy choices; and if you intend to stuff your face, make a mental note to add a couple more minutes at the gym or swim a couple more laps than you usually would. If you see yourself slipping on your workout regimen, get up and start moving again. Lets beat the flab together!! 😎😁Until I come your way again, feel free to share your tips and tricks on staying fit.

 

Periwinkle Starr