Near Death Experience…New Outlook on Life

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Happy New Month Y’all!! Can you believe its July already? Well, I can. Time flies by when your’re fully occupied. One of my favorite things of the season is being able to dress lighter; you can almost never go wrong with all those insanely bright colors. I finally (rolling eyes) got around to packing up my winter clothes and making room for my summer clothes…LOL, so don’t be down on yourself if its the middle of the year and you haven’t organized your closet space yet. Now, as much as I love writing about all things ‘light’, fun and positive; I also love to write about deep life experiences and the lessons I learned in the process. Today’s post is one of those.

That Fateful Day.

One sunny day, years ago; I had gotten some time off and wanted start my day with running a few errands before settling in to chill, relax and take it easy. I made a stop at a Goodwill store to drop off some items I had kept for so long but couldn’t find the time to give away. I remember driving down the road about 5 miles from home and getting close to one of the traffic lights on my way. It was green as I approached it and suddenly changed to yellow the closer I got to the light. It remained on yellow for longer than a light would usually be and so I decided I would cross it.

All I remember was seeing a huge dark shadow come from the my side and in a split second, all I felt and heard was ‘Bam’!! I saw myself in the car but it felt like I wasn’t bound by gravity. It reminds me of those car collision tests with dummies where the impact is recorded and replayed in slow motion. My car somersaulted 3 times and landed on its roof.

I was hanging upside down supported by my seat belt when the daze started to wear off. The windshield was cracked, the doors were smashed in – totally destroyed. There was shattered glass all around me. I reached for the door but couldn’t get it to open. The window in the back seat to the right was busted open and this was going to be the only way to get out of the car. I released the seat belt lock and hit the roof. There were pieces of glass that cut my hands and knees as I crawled out of the car.

By this time, people rushed to help. The paramedics, the police and more people came unto the scene. My car was rammed on the driver’s side by a black Ram truck. As I was been attended to, one of the questions I was asked was how I came out of the car and how possible it was that I had just a few cuts on my knees and hands. There were measurements taken of the window I had crawled out of and all the police could say was ‘you are an extremely lucky lady’. The car was totaled. The emotional trauma was so much, it took me a couple of months to remember everything that actually happened because all my body did was kick-in in that moment to survive.

A Faulty Traffic Light.

That particular light was shut down and covered for repairs 2 days later; and even though I was given a ticket, I didn’t care to dispute it or go to court to prove anything…I was just happy and so grateful to be alive. All I wanted was for the whole ordeal to be over and done with…fast! I needed to get on with life.

My Outlook On Life Since Then…

Life is so fragile. A split second is all it takes and it can be all over. Knowing this reality humbled me in so many ways, I can’t even begin to explain.

I became a more compassionate human.

My empathy for ‘ALL’ suffering grew. Now I wasn’t exactly an ice queen by any chance but I did have some frosting..ha ha. This experience taught me to feel for others and not just those within my sphere of life.

Dissatisfied with all things specious.

Learning to forgive ‘quicker’. Life is too short. We are not and will never be perfect. Each of us sees life through our own perspective of what we believe to be right about the world. With that been said, some things are not worth the drag – what if the person you hold a grudge against passes suddenly and you didn’t speak because of something not worth it after all.

I keep it moving. There’s a sense of urgency to push ahead and not hold unto things, ideals or pattern of action that aren’t working or delivering the desired results.

Appreciative of every single day. Every day is not perfect but you’re alive! You can still dream and it’s not too late to change or try something new.

My belief in a higher power. Nothing else but the Big Guy up there watching over me.

Thanks for reading. Hope y’all have a fabulous month ahead and get to enjoy some amazing fireworks on the 4th! Until I come your way again, I remain

 

Periwinkle Starr

 

 

 

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Anthony Bourdain: A Friend in my Mind

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Friday morning was a mad dash. I was off to two different offsite meetings before heading back to work. At almost mid-day was when I looked up my twitter feed. In that moment, I felt like my heart skipped a beat. It read “Anthony Bourdain was found dead by suicide”. I didn’t really understand what it meant; I had just watched the last episode  of Parts Unknown on sunday so he was still pretty fresh in my mind. This week was awful for the entertainment industry, first Kate Spade and now Anthony. I was puzzled, sad, wondering, afraid, questioning all at the same time. Lets take a walk back to how he became a friend – in my mind.

An Authentic Human Being

Anthony Bourdain was a real and authentic human being. He had money, success, fame but he knew those things did not exempt him from life – the daily struggles of anyone alive on this planet. He was who he was and he wasn’t ashamed of it. His love of travel and of food took him all over the globe. He was curious about cultures different from his, intrigued about how people lived, their values and the things that set them apart from other groups. There had to be more to a person or groups of people and Bourdain understood that.

There was a humility about him; he was willing to travel to remote parts of the world to sit with total strangers, share a meal and just listen. He gave others a chance to paint their own pictures, an opportunity to tell their own story – not the scripts written by people outside their experience. He ate any where from the best restaurants in world to eating on street corners and in back alleys; on many occasions trying things from menu’s that some of us wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole. This part of him I could so relate to because I have gotten sick so many times from tasting and trying different cuisines in the past that I made up my mind to live vicariously by watching Parts Unknown and the Travel Channel.

He had things that he struggled with, that was no secret. It was said that he ran from his demons but not fast enough. Could it be that if he had taken time to acknowledge the things he was struggling with instead of painting a different picture to the world, he might still be here. I remember his last visit to a remote village in Asia where he made an eerie comment saying ‘it would be the last time he would be back there’, – I cannot help but wonder if he already knew what he was going to do. So sad, sad indeed.

We can’t keep losing people like this.  Something as simple as talking to someone else can go a long way to being free. Diet, exercise and a healthy lifestyle coupled with rest help re-center and refresh the body. Being in close contact with family, friends and loved ones keep us emotionally balanced. Mental illness is no respecter of persons. An icon was lost and we pray for peace for his family at this time.

 

Periwinkle Starr

 

The Randomness of It All!!

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Hello Y’all!! The weekend is here! Sitting on my porch and starring into a vast expanse of greenery, listening to the sounds of birds chirping, the soft whisper of the morning breeze always seem to bring everything into perspective…don’t ask me how, it just does.  😀 Its almost like running through chaos all week and finally getting a few moments to be calm and regain my focus.

I sometimes get the sense that we as people look at life as a plan, a series of events, a destination, a succession of accomplishments that occur in stages…in order words; an orderly occurrence of events. I on the other hand sometimes love to look at life as a series of random events that do not always make sense when you’re in the thick of it. But the moment I step back and look at the big picture of events, timing, decisions made, seemingly chanced meetings, the good, the bad and not so pretty things that happen along the way; It… in some weird way makes sense after all.

Spoiler Alert 101

There really isn’t a specific order of occurrences in life. There’s a lot of RANDOM!

Sometimes, when things don’t go the way we think they should or things don’t happen as we imagine them to, we often think that we have failed in some way or the other. I have come to realize that by removing myself from being so up close and personal and looking at the big picture in a holistic way does something to and for me. Things begin to come into perspective in a way that blows my mind beyond anything I would have planned or orchestrated by myself. I have given all I can and now, I’m going to let it be, I am going to chill and have a glass of wine while i’m at it. 😀 😀

Recently, my friends and I drove by a newly constructed building on our way to a baseball game – The Texas Rangers against the Seattle Mariners. We lost… AGAIN!!! but who cares, ballpark food is so bad for you but taste sooo good and a once in a blue moon binge is not going to kill anybody right? – Anyway, it was a project I had worked on in the past. There it stood, majestic as can be. All the surrounding buildings looked dated beside it. Often times, no one sees the effort it took to create such a masterpiece if I could say so myself (wink). At some point in the process, it was a push-pull saga between peoples ego and doing what was best for the overall well being of the project and all the stakeholders involved: from the designers, construction managers, investors, the city, the occupants, the owners. At certain moments, things were frustrating and weren’t going well talk less of making sense. But now, looking at the end product; I can’t but be proud that it was all worth it. It all made sense. It wasn’t a perfect process but surely, it was worth it.

Life is full of randomness, things you can control and some you can’t. S***t happens to good people too. :/ Instead of being down on yourself when things don’t go the way you had hoped or expected; or it didn’t fit the mold you wanted, take a step back and look at it from a holistic perspective. Sometimes life does not make sense but as long as you keep doing your part, you keep being positive and keep pushing. I can guarantee that one day, you will be able to see the whole picture. You’d be able to connect the dots and you’ll be happy for good times and grateful for the times that things didn’t go as you had planned.

My To-Do list is long this weekend so i’d best get started on it. Hope you have a fab weekend! I would love to hear from you so feel free to share your thoughts with me and all our fab Starr readers. Also, take the time to check out my sister blog: https://www.periwinklestarr-glamfest.com/ Until I come your way again, do enjoy the randomness of life, its worth it!!

Periwinkle Starr

 

Staying Fit & Avoiding The Flab!

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Hello Y’all!! A belated welcome to the month of March…all the way from Dallas, Texas! It’s been a cool winter so far but I’m just about ready for some consistent warm weather right about now. 😨The downside of winter is the fact that you can make up genuine excuses for E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G and get away with it.

My question is… ‘For how long’?

We had the holidays, Valentines day, Fat Tuesday and more sweet treats than should be  legally consumed. I feel it’s time to get back into being fit, active and lean again 😀 I abhor the word ‘FAT’ when it comes to health and weight because it brings back all kinds of horrifying memories; the word is literally vanquished from my vocabulary unless we’re talking about “Fat Tuesday”…ha ha!

 Its hard to maintain a fitness regimen especially if you’re always on the go and your lifestyle or job are not as predictable.

How To Get Flabby Fast

This is a no-brainier to most but for some, the flab creeps up on you so slowly that one day you look in the mirror and wonder what exactly it is you’re looking at – Like where did my toned abs go or for the guys, you may look like you’ve downsized to a one pack. 😱😱 This is so real, it’s not even funny. I am going to list a few things that may seem inconsequential but trust me, they add up. So stay with me. 😘😍

  • Happy Hour and Weekend Meetups

The weekend is finally here. You can kickback and relax a little.  All those cocktails aren’t going to drink themselves you know but they do add to the waistline. After all, a few drinks aren’t hurting anybody. But there’s an old saying ‘A little here, a little there and a pond becomes a river.

  • Late Night Dinners

Every now and then, I have days where I zone out on the couch for some ‘Do-Nothing Me-Time’. I catch up on movies, phone calls, my never ending to-do lists, a good facial mask, nail polish, with snacks nearby and a glass of wine. Once the snuggie comes out, its downhill from there – nothing healthy happens beyond this point. 😂😂

  • Skipping The Gym

We all have things that interfere with our gym schedules every now and then. Skipping the gym may work when you have pressing appointments or deadlines; but when you see yourself slipping, its time to up your game and get back into your routine.

  • Not Reading The Labels on Food

There’s a reason why people advise against shopping when you’re hungry because we tend to grab everything that looks good instead of what’s really healthy for us. I feel I end up making decisions from my belly instead of from my brain. Taking the time to read the label will help you decide if you want for example a 230 calorie breakfast bar or a 120 calorie equally as tasty option. Its that simple but seldom ever done. 😣😣

Something Has Got To Give

Staying fit is a lifestyle. There’s no magic pill and even if there was, the side effects may not be pleasant. Its okay to have cheat days; just as long as every day does not become one. When going out to eat, try to make delicious but healthy choices; and if you intend to stuff your face, make a mental note to add a couple more minutes at the gym or swim a couple more laps than you usually would. If you see yourself slipping on your workout regimen, get up and start moving again. Lets beat the flab together!! 😎😁Until I come your way again, feel free to share your tips and tricks on staying fit.

 

Periwinkle Starr

 

 

 

No More Resolutions…Just Aspirations Please!!

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Hello Y’all!! Welcome to a fabulous new week! The freeze is still on and I’m still trying to wrap my mind around how Houston can be getting snow this time of the year and not Dallas; not that I care but it’s just odd. :/ Can you believe it’s mid January already? The zip-line has begun…ha ha!

My neighbor has a 50 pound bulldog puppy that runs out to me every time I put my keys in the door. Today will be our 6th screaming episode…where i’m screaming in fright and the pup is super excited to say hello. 😐 This gets me E-V-E-R-Y-T-I-M-E. I still don’t understand how a dog that size can move so stealthily; I just see something out of the corner of my eye and flashbacks of ALL the horror movies of mauling sessions combined into this one moment become a reality – in my mind. This is not a one time episode though. I get jumped by dogs all the time and most recently by a clients poodle. Everyone was like ‘it absolutely loves you’ :/ Now, I am not averse to dogs because growing up, my family always had dogs and as much as I didn’t really fuss and kiss on them (yuck), I was their primary caregiver and did right by them. So I guess its inevitable, I will probably end up with a few… eventually 😀 :/

No More Resolutions – Just Aspirations Please.

If you’re like the rest of us, by the month of March, those resolutions are dead and forgotten; And by December, we pledge to do better the next year. Like a wheel, the cycle repeats itself.  I made up my mind to switch things up and change my lingo this time around. I decided to set out with things I would love to accomplish in the year but with no definite timeline. The reason being that ‘life happens’ and ‘we don’t really have complete control over everything’. Knowing and accepting these simple facts take the pressure off of you.

  • So instead of resolving to loose ‘x’ pounds or kilograms this year, I aspire to keep making healthy choices through out the year that will get me closer to the desired weight I want. So in essence, you’ve set your sights on the goal that you WILL accomplish without your brain scrambling to fit that into an almost impossible  time frame.

  • When I get caught in traffic with bad drivers, I will picture myself running through a peaceful field full of soft lilies and dandelions – instead of reacting by saying all those ‘bad words’…ha ha!

So guys, I hope you have an amazing week and your resolutions for the year are transformed into aspirations without any of the extra pressure we tend to place on ourselves. Feel free to share your thoughts and views with me on this post and if you haven’t already checked out my sister site, please do!! It’s:

https://www.periwinklestarr-glamfest.com/

Until I come your way again, I remain

 

Periwinkle Starr

 

Let’s Dip Those Down Days In Chocolate!

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Hey Y’all! I hope the month of August has been off to an amazing start for you. The burn is almost over in North Texas which is worth celebrating…ha ha! Today, I want to talk about something that affects us all – even the best of us and unless you’re a direct descendant of Tony Robbins; you are not immune to the feelings that govern the rest of mankind.

Sometimes, life throws curve balls at the same time and in quick succession that we sometimes can’t seem to catch a break. We tend to store up the emotions associated with those events and keep it moving. We oftentimes never have the time to go back and really experience those events and we forget that our bodies deal with so much on a daily basis already; coupled with all the fun things we experience by just being adults .

There’s no denying that there are somethings that happened early on in our lives that some of us haven’t gotten over – things we had no control over, loss of loved ones or friends, failed relationships, being misunderstood or just being in the wrong place at the wrong time. As time goes by, those events remain well hidden under layers and layers of walls. It’s no wonder meltdowns are considered the norm these days; more than they have ever been because we keep layering and layering occurrences until the breakdown happens. The end result: premature ageing, ulcers, weight gain, high blood pressure and more.

Money, success, sophistication coupled with all the serums in the world will not heal a wounded soul. Facing things one baby step at a time… eventually will. 🙂 At some point, we have to get tired of wearing that same raggedy mask – year in year out – and start dealing with the real underlying root cause so we can truly live our lives from the inside out and not vice versa.

Down Days …Be Gone!

On those days I feel somewhat down, scheduling a quiet moment to think about what I’m feeling and why is a step in the right direction. A tissue box, my favorite facial mask and some nail polish while I’m at it  work wonders – ALWAYS. There’s nothing wrong with killing a couple of birds with one stone 😀 . But take time to actually relive the experience, soak it in, acknowledge it and …be done with it. Journaling or video vlogging – where you actually articulate what you felt then and now and how you intend to grow from it going forward – are great outlets. Call a family member or persons connected to that event and let them know how you really felt and if they’ve passed; talk to someone trustworthy. The end goal is to just let it out and find a way to let it go.

When you’re done, take a nap. Go for a run. Swim. Trust me, the sun will shine brighter when you get up. You will feel lighter and you’ll have more room for positivity in your life because you’ve let go of baggage you’ve held unto and logged around for years. And always reward yourself afterwards. An easy reach is one of my favorites – Ben and Jerry’s ‘Everything But The’…chocolate ice cream. Trust me, it does wonders for the bravest of souls. 😀 😀 Until next time, like, share and follow for more from…

 

Periwinkle Starr

 

That Happy Place!

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Happy New Month Y’all! I hope you’re enjoying the long weekend and gearing up for fireworks and the 4th of July fun fare? This week, I will be writing about what i’d like to call “That Happy Place” so stay with me.

I find that we all have a point, a goal, an achievement that once attained we will get to a place of bliss. This ‘set place’ means different things to different people. For some, its getting a certain position or having a net worth of certain figures. It could be having a family, buying a home or owning a business or a string of businesses. The list is endless. But as ideal as these achievements are, once attained we may soak in it for a while but eventually an unrest that comes from within sets in and we need another conquest, another thing to aspire to in order to get back to ‘That happy Place’. The mirage of this ideal is the fact that the post keeps shifting and if we aren’t careful, we might go through life not having being present or sitting still long enough to be in the moment and just be plain old happy 😀 😀

My Definition of That Happy Place

Moments in life where you are at peace in the core of your being in spite of whatever’s happening in your world. You acknowledge that life is not and will never be perfect but as long as you’re breathing, you’ll keep doing the best you can. You are kind to your soul. You’re here now and will enjoy every moment. Tomorrow is another day!

A couple of days ago, I set out at lunch time without the gang to check out a coffee shop I had spotted a few days prior. It was a nice walk. The interior had a window wall system directly facing the DART with chairs lined up to enjoy the view. It took me a few minutes to take in the scene around me: the skyscrapers, people walking, the DART,…everything. As I sat there, it suddenly occurred to me that I was in a ‘Happy Place’. Looking back on my journey and how far I had come, the people in my life, the places I had been – the good, the bad and not so pretty – summed into this moment and I was….CONTENT.  It took me sitting at a coffee shop on a rather quiet day enjoying the view of the outside world around me to realize it… 😀 😀

I believe that a happy place should be points where in spite of what life throws your way, you are accepting of who you are and at peace with yourself as a human being and confident that whatever the future brings, you’re planting your feet in the sand –  and you’re ready to take it on.

Until I come your way again, I remain

Periwinkle Starr