When It’s Ok To Let Go!

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Hello Y’all! Happy New Month! I hope your weekend has been great so far. It’s beginning to feel a lot like Christmas in North Texas. The temperature has dropped and I have finally swapped my summer garb for winter wear…at last! I turned down a camping trip with some adventure buddies this weekend. Well…considering the fact that I’m home now, swaddled in all things warm; I have my heat turned on including my mobile mini heater I carry around with me – and I’m still cold. There is no way in hell I was going to sleep OUTSIDE or pretend for a few days that I could survive in the wild. I feel like to really ‘survive’ out there, I may need ‘boot camp type of training like I’ve seen on national geographic…hehehe. My last failed attempt at camping ended up with us packing up and driving to a lit Walmart parking lot to spend the night because the nearest hotel was too far out. All the horror movies I have ever watched summed up into one HUGE film. I mean from bears, to anacondas, ghosts, people who had camped out and were never found, previous episodes of paranormal and supernatural combined…the possibilities were endless. So…no thank you. Anyways, lets get back to the gist.

Life Happens To Us All!

If you are alive and breathing, you have a story. Whether it’s good or bad, pleasant or unpleasant, ecstatic or dreadfully tragic. We all have a story. Some people find a way to make the best use of what life has handed them and push forward to live a regular, imperfect life as our humanity allows but for others, not so much. There are three forms of expression I see and I feel everyone of us at some point has been in one or all of these three categories. Its the same trauma but different outcomes or should I say outward expressions. So stay with me.

The ‘Woe Is Me‘ Group. Those people who wear their life’s trauma as a badge of honor on their fore head- like it’s something to be proud of. It almost feels like they walk around with their souls leaking out; and if you stand close enough, it’s only a matter of time before they begin to regurgitate all over you. They go around with the same old sob story and have a reason why they can’t do anything while resorting to drain and suck the life and time out of all they encounter. These people move around a lot. It almost seems like as soon as they are discovered or exposed, they move on to the next unassuming source of supply.

The next group is the Emotionally Void. There are those who look to the outside to fill a void on the inside. Nothing will ever be enough. Whether its money, power, sex, drugs, alcohol…you name it. To use people and things for their benefit without care or consequences, just as long as it serves them is their modus operandi. These people have been hurt and have vowed to do everything and anything to not have to feel that way ever again. Its a ‘hurt you before you hurt me’ vicious cycle that never ends. There is a lot of camouflaging to the extent that after a while – not knowing who they ‘really’ are becomes a frightening reality.

Finally, this group is what I’d like to call ‘Forever The Optimist‘. Being one of those glass half full personality types, they are always looking for the good in people. The constant search for good that may balance out the bad in others or in situations – when some things are just what they are: plain old bad. Trying to give the benefit of a doubt or hoping the outcome is not as unpleasant as it seems in many cases is the norm. Instead of looking at the actions, sometimes these kind souls would often look at the backstory that caused or led to those actions; and in many cases would give a pass based on those facts or even permit certain things that aren’t necessarily healthy around them because they are so forgiving. They are torn between identifying with the pain they too have experienced or going the other extreme and burning people at the stakes…literally.

Balance is the key.  None of the people who fall into these categories is a ‘bad person’. We need to figure out a way to heal, move past the hand that life dealt to us and express ourselves effectively in the world. To think we can save everyone is ludicrous in and of itself and a burden so big we were never meant to bear. Change only comes by a person making a decision within their self to change. So hanging on is great but you have to know when it’s ok to let go. There comes a time where you need to choose your health and well being first and do away with guilt and condemnation of not being able to save everyone. Until I come your way again, be safe and upbeat knowing deep down in your soul that sometimes its ok to let go!

 

Periwinkle Starr♥

Weekend Musings & Tornados!

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Hello Y’all! The weekend is almost over and I’m still trying to figure out where it went. Finally getting to spend a few moments of quiet was very refreshing. Im sitting on my rug, with my hair all over the place and watching the movie ‘Mortal Engines’ which happens to be absolutely brilliant by the way. It’s very different from what I was expecting and I find that refreshing. Its raining cats and dogs outside and there’s multiple tornado sirens going off at the same time. Hopefully we are still intact by the time I’m through writing this blog LOL. I’m wondering if you ever have those weekends where you have a ton of things to do…you were pumped to do it all…and ended up getting about 20 percent of it done. This is one of those weekends and I am not ashamed to admit it.

It’s A Real Tornado!! Should We Be Worried?

The intensity of the wind blowing against my window is so strong, I turn on the TV to find out what in the world is going on out there and the weather man says its a freaking TORNADO!! What exactly are we supposed to do? You know how we rarely pay attention to the flight attendant (atleast I don’t, unless they’re funny) when they’re doing the safety demonstration and then you frantically start checking in the back pocket to try to remember what all you’re supposed to do because the Captain just flew you right into some stormy clouds and everything in the cabin is shaking all around you – yep, that was me in that moment.

Hello Google!

I begin looking up ‘what to do in a tornado’. One thing I do know you’re supposed to  do in a situation like this is to get in the tub for safety. But then I’m thinking, what if you live on the highest floor in your building? That tub is going to deliver you straight into the mouth of the tornado – and that’s still not a good idea.  After spinning for a few minutes, Google finally answers with the best three options to be safe. Here goes nothing… :/

  • Go to the basement. Well, thank you great people of Texas. We don’t have basements. We don’t do basements. This is not the freeze belt (ahem) Midwest. So for the first point, we are pretty much screwed. On to the next one.
  •  If you have no basement, protect yourself by taking shelter under a heavy table or desk. I don’t know about you but IKEA furniture is made so light even a six month old can install it. So strike two – we would be sitting ducks on this option.
  •  Stay away from windows, outside walls and doors.  I guess that would leave me standing in the middle of my apartment or hiding out in my closet.  The latter option isn’t too bad although I need to take time off to dust my shoes because I’m rarely hunkered down that low and I can only imagine the sneeze fest thats bound to occur. The term other worldly would be an understatement…haha, but I’ll live.

It wasn’t long before the tornado moved south of us. The sirens stopped blaring and we could heave a sigh of relief. It was a sobering moment. I now feel like I need to be more disaster prepared and not take things for granted.  I’ve heard people say that it only takes a split second and reality as we know it could be altered beyond recognition. Hopefully this never happens to us or our loved ones ever again. I’m wishing you a fabulous week ahead, stay safe and upbeat until I come your way again.

 

Periwinkle Starr♥

 

 

Santa Monica In The Fall!

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Hello Y ‘all!! I hope you are doing well in your part of the world.  North Texas feels like June right now – that’s all !’m going to say about that. Why we are still in the 90’s is beyond me but anyway I’m not going to complain about it, at least we get as low as the high 70’s in the morning…Haha! So here I am sitting on my couch with a bag of ice on my head because I can’t seem to figure out what part of my body that isn’t hurting.  Fast forward to 6 hours earlier, I and a group of ‘adventure buddies’ just finished The Great Obstacle Race which we topped off with ziplining. Now, if I had been asked a day earlier if I wanted to participate in this race (Keeping in mind what I know now), my answer would be a HUGE no. But, the point of being a member of this group is to say ‘yes’. To get out of my own way and do things that I otherwise would not consider doing. So I get to cross that off my list while I nurse my whole being…LOL.

Howdy Santa Monica!!!

This was my first trip to this part of California. After getting out of the airport and heading to our hotel, I was wowed by the palm trees littered along the roadways, the smell of the sea and the quaint shops and buildings we rode past to get to our lodgings. Traffic was nothing compared to what we have here in North Texas, it was a breezy ride to our hotel which was literally on the beach, a 1.5 minute walk to be exact. I had heard about the amazing sunrise, the pier and all the fun things that we ‘land-locked’ southerners do not get to enjoy. The view was so breathtakingly beautiful, I spent a lot of time just starring out at the seascape from the window.  The beach is littered with exercise equipment, people meditating, some doing yoga, others running, a couple of people trying to catch a wave or just photographing the beauty of it all.  We were even told that depending on the day, Arnold Schwarzenegger (and yes I said the ‘Arnold Schwarzenegger’, the one I was likening my fitness instructors to previously) rides his bicycle right past that area in the mornings. WOW!

Alot of people were dressed down, relaxed with tons of touristy things to see and do. There is a vibe in the air, a relaxing and laid-back atmosphere that we do not have in North Texas because we are constantly on the go…to get somewhere and heaven forbid there’s a slow driver in front of us….ahem (got a little carried away there)..hehehe (I liken that to saying squirrel to your puppy) – works every time. But Santa Monican’s are predominantly very fit. I didn’t see a lot of heavy set people out and about. We got to catch the sunrise on one of the mornings and it was one of the most peaceful things I have ever experienced.

To Surf …Or Not

To be honest, I didn’t even feel tired or stressed out even though we were working full days and more. This might sound corny but Its almost like the sea takes away all the stress. It almost feels like the closer we are to nature, the more at peace we become. A feeling of oneness that words can’t really describe. So we headed out to the beach to relax and be lazy after a hectic day. I was going to try surfing…for the first time if I might add but after I was told that I had to shuffle my feet in the sand to let the stingrays know to move out of the way and not be surprised and accidently sting me, I was like ‘say what’?

I was alive and well when Steve Irwin died…by a STINGRAY!!! If a whole Steve, the internationally famous Australian wildlife dare devil could be killed by those things, there is no way I was going to be a statistic. My friends could shuffle all they wanted for all I cared; sun bathing it was – at least for me haha! My stay in Santa Monica was a wonderful experience and I got to explore a little bit more of the world around me.

 

 

Its been a fun experience y’all so I adjure you beautiful people to take some time to appreciate the world around you whether (like me) it’s doing the Great Obstacle Race or taking a road trip to someplace new. Trust me, your mind will thank you for it. So until I come your way again, be safe, happy and upbeat!

 

Periwinkle Starr♥

Hello Ember!!

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Hello Y’all! Labor Day has come and gone folks and when that happens,…you know what’s next….HARVEST!! I had the pleasure of hanging with a close friend who resides in the country over the weekend. It is so peaceful and therapeutic out there that if I wasn’t a town mouse, I sure would signup in a heartbeat to be a country one. We had the pleasure of plucking pears off the tree…something I have not done in years. I was as giddy as that rambunctious 7 year old that I was growing up. The joy of climbing trees and playing out in our backyard which was about 3 acres of lush greenery, fruit trees and a small farm. It was pure heaven. There is a stillness that the country gives that I miss because I live in the city, but getting healthy doses ever so often kind of make up for it.

I equate harvest time with pies. There are so many pies to be made around this time of the year and when the temperature starts dropping, staying in with a freshly baked pie is more tempting than being out on the town.  For the freshly picked pears resting on my countertop, I sure will be looking up some pie recipes and will be sharing the recipe I decide on.  Come to think of it, I have done a lot of cakes, buckles and cobblers recently but no pies yet, so that might be something I will consider including in my next post.  The beginning of September for some mark the end of the year. It can be amazing but it can also bring low feelings especially if you haven’t achieved what you set out to do at the beginning of the year. If you feel down about ANYTHING that you have been through from the beginning of this year up until now, stay with me…

Do Not Give Up…It’s Not Too Late. Things Can Still Change!

♥          There is a difference between being overly positive without being realistic or logical. This is not what we want or should be doing. Facing (head on) the reality of outcomes whether good or bad is one of the best ways to live. Knowing what you did right and what you can improve on is a key to moving in the right direction.

♥          Get back to the drawing board.  Look back at the steps that got you to this point and re-strategize. Maybe working out twice a week isn’t giving you the desired results, bump that up to four times a week. Maybe studying on your own isn’t helping much, then consider getting a tutor or joining a boot camp.

♥          Take a deep breath. Cry if you need to. Take a sulk day (and yes, in my world, there is such a thing as a sulk day. It’s a day I take a moment for myself and officially give myself permission to be up in my feelings; to nurse the curve balls life has thrown my way and just wallow in it aka acknowledge it, sit in it, reflect on it, and just be still for a moment.  After I’m done, I pick myself back up, encourage myself, square my shoulders, get back out there and face whatever obstacle with everything I have in me. There are no quitters here – its only over when we die.

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Life isn’t perfect folks, striving for perfection is a recipe for disaster. I have met people who strive for perfection and they are not happy, can’t ever be happy and unfortunately, will never be happy. One of my mantras in life is “I will accept 80% completion over 10% perfection”. And it has helped me change my way of seeing things in a less stressful way and in a more forgiving light.  Life is beautiful, filled with a variety of quirkiness, craziness, pleasant surprises and curve balls. Our goal is to be at peace while navigating our way through it the best we can. To be good, be strong, be honest and kind, to be considerate of others knowing fully well that what we give out is what we will get back in return. It isn’t over yet folks. Miracles do happen.

Until I come your way again, chin-up and brace yourselves because the best…is yet to come!

 

Periwinkle Starr

The Beauty Of It All.

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Hello Y’all! Hope you are doing well in your part of the world? It’s been great in North Texas right until I remembered that school will be back in session real soon; I literally went from a solid six to a two…on the ‘patience for traffic’ scale and yes, I made that up LOL. Anyways, I am going to savor the nicely flowing traffic with the occasional wreck here and there before the madness begins. The high point of my week has been my discovery of one of my favorite ice cream places very close to my work – simple pleasure of life get me everytime.  But on a more serious note, there has been so much going on in the news lately. The saddest and most horrendous things have happened in quick succession that burying my head in the sand or pretending that it does not exist is no longer an option.

Hmmm…(Sigh)

These days people are afraid of people. Afraid to interact. People react because of a mindset that expects a negative outcome even when there isn’t a threat and I feel we are slowly being conditioned so much so that we isolate ourselves thereby widening the wedge between us as people, as humans. Life is too short to keep walls when there are tremendous opportunities to be gained by interaction and community and I am not just writing this but I am speaking to myself as well. Now, I’m not recommending going out and hugging strangers on the street but just having an open mind about every circumstance we find ourselves in before concluding the worst.  My life Mantra that I try to follow is to:

Give everyone a clean slate…to show you who they really are.

Until then, I feel like we can make use of those freed up brain cells for doing more relaxing or productive things instead of waiting for the next shoe to drop…which in most cases never does; or when it does drop, it’s the ones we don’t expect that surprise us the most.  We live in a fallen world and there will always be bad things or bad breaks happening all around us (and even to us sometimes) but the goal is to be able to see the beauty of life despite the negativity, despite the trials. I’m not a good horse rider but I love love the idea of the blinders they place on the horses head that force it to keep looking straight ahead and not at the noise and distractions happening on each side. I made up my mind a long time ago to not let people, events or bad breaks make me cynical, hardened and bitter. In my opinion, that’s too much power that no one deserves to have over me. I decided not to let a couple of bad apples ruin the bunch – whatever that means or however it applies to you and I.

Anyways, Fall is around the corner and before you know it, we will start our progression towards the years end. Until I come your way again, stay safe, upbeat and open to the things we do find beautiful in life.

 

Periwinkle Starr

 

Summers Here!!

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Hello Y ‘all! Its been a while since my last post. I hope you’re doing well in your part of the world? Fourth of July has come and gone. Getting a few days off to rest, be outdoors and not worry about work and deadlines is always nice. Besides, the heat is back and those delicious ice cream flavors are not going to eat themselves now. Its amazing how fast this year has run by, we are already in July and before you know it, we’ll be organizing our closets for Fall and then Winter. I have been trying to get back to being healthy but I find it so hard because when I’m on the road, its so much more difficult to make healthy choices that after a while, you just don’t.

Summers here and one of the things I like to do around this time is evaluate the year from January up to this point. Here are a few things I like to do that I feel will benefit you so stay tuned and thank me in the comment section below…ha ha!

♦      Finances: Look back on all things ‘money’. Are you saving up for the future? Is your debt going up or down and what effect does it have on your credit score?  Are you making wise choices when it comes to money and do you have a plan B just in case something unexpected happens?

♦      Health & Wellness: Are we making the right choices that will ultimately have an effect on our health. Are we staying fit, going to the gym, walking or running on a regular? Are you keeping up with your routine health checks (especially if you’re 30 and up)?

♦       Are You Keeping Up With Relationships, Friends and Family: Always checking in to ‘really’ see how you’re doing with your partner, catching coffee or in my case tea with friends. Going dancing or meeting up for drinks at happy hour really does help take the edge off adulting and everyday living.  Having a good belly laugh does wonders.

♦        Skincare & Lifestyle: These seem like an odd pair but your skin is a mirror image of your lifestyle. Something as simple as getting enough sleep at night, wearing sunscreen, brushing your teeth before bed (I know…no need to roll your eyes but it does matter), not smoking, taking off your makeup even though you’re dead tired or turning down the offer for that third drink that might seem trivial but the benefits (in the long run) are almost priceless. A little here, a little there and a few drops become a huge lake…or so I’ve heard.

♦        Play: Find time to let your inner child out. I recently went whirly balling with a group of friends and it was so fun – my body and I had a come to Jesus moment the next day LOL!! So I urge you to get out, go kayaking, hiking, explore the world around you. Get out of the work-home-grocery-repeat cycle and enjoy!!

I missed writing and I sure am glad to be back!! Feel free to tell me what you plan to do this Summer. Like, Comment and be a Starr Reader! Until I come your way again which will be sooner, be safe and have fun!!

 

Periwinkle Starr

 

Springtime in New Orleans

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Hello Y’all! I hope you are doing well in your part of the world and your week has been off to a great start. The weather has been great!! For the first time in what seemed like forever, Dallasites can finally rid themselves of ‘most’ of their layers ha-ha! This winter was brutal in my opinion and seemed to last longer than winters of the last couple of years. I am so happy to ditch my boots for sandals and heels and I’m just about ready to pack up all my winter gear and reorganize my closet for summer. It almost feels like we can’t ever be happy with the weather. We (myself included) must always look for something to whine about no matter what.

First Time Ever!

It was my first time being in ‘Nawlins’ aka New Orleans.  Looking out at the terrain from my window seat, all I could see was ‘Swamp Land’.  It was waterlogged for miles and it reminded me of a fishing town. Upon landing, the weather was a good 69°F and the air was a little more weighty with a hint of moisture than what we get in Texas. We later had lunch at the famous Johnny’s Po-Boys restaurant which was really good. I never really knew why it was called a Po-Boy sandwich. Well, I learned it was called that because it’s what the poor people ate back in the day. Its a very basic sandwich with the option to have shrimp or fish on it – hence the term fish or shrimp Po-Boy.  The guy behind the counter reminded me of Popeye the sailor man and I’m not kidding.  He was a short  stocky man with curly dark hair. He wore a white apron and had muscular arms with a grunt to his voice that was funny when he barked out orders to the cook in the back who scrambled around while taking orders. Everyone who came in for lunch seemed to know him and make small talk with him while getting their food.

Our group had a few hours to wander into the French Quarter and sight-see before heading back, so off we went. Taking in the ambiance all around me kind of reminded me of the show Southern Charm and the possibility of recognizing any of the cast members from the show as we meandered our way through traffic to get to the famous Bourbon Street. There was music blasting so loud you had to raise your voice to be heard.  The houses were quaint, with the signature wrought iron balconies. There were hanging plants everywhere and one could not help but notice beads in trees, beads caught on bushes…I mean, it was bead central over there. We stopped to listen to some guy do a street jazz performance which was really cool. There were Daiquiri signs on almost every bar we passed and I learned that you’re free to walk around in the open with alcohol. At Jackson Square, we walked pass the monument, art galleries, masquerade and costume shops, street art displays, the St. Louis Cathedral, psychics sitting out in the open, and tons of voodoo shops which was the scariest part because business seemed to be booming with tourist going in and out of the shops. There were  ‘no picture’ signs at the entries so my guess is  that those indulging in the black arts did not want to be identified or photographed. We stopped at the Cafe Du Monde next to the French Market and I tried the signature Beignet (pronounced ‘been-yet’) with hot chocolate (it was 70°F) and it was amazing. Everyone was having hot chocolate in that heat so it wasn’t weird.  This wasn’t festival season so getting around on foot was really easy. I also tried authentic Jambalaya from a no name place which I found to be very savory. It wasn’t long after that we said goodbye to that charming and festive city.

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Getting out and seeing different people and places is really interesting. Having the courage to explore the world around you is not always easy but it starts with putting one foot in front of the other. Springtime is here guys and ladies and its time to get out and explore. Until I come your way again, feel free to like, comment and share your experiences with me. I remain

 

 

Periwinkle Starr